“Building emotional resilience in single-parent dating” is a collaborative post.

Single parents have a lot on their plate. Apart from juggling their professional and personal lives and parenting, they sometimes deal with co-parenting issues. There is also the stigma some communities put on single parents. It seems like their emotions and needs come last.

They have less time and energy for dating. 57% of single parents say their favourite part about dating is having fun, but when you do have the time, you might be too stressed or tired to have fun. 

You have less money for dates, especially if you’re raising a child on one income. There can be trust issues, custody disputes, alimony, emotional wounds, etc. 

Finally, single parents tend to have high dating standards. They are careful about who they introduce to their children. They can’t afford to waste time on someone who is not compatible, not serious, or not respectful of their situation. 

If you’re unsure where things will go, a relationship soft launch can be a discreet way of communicating there is a new person in your life. Depending on the child’s age, the relationship might not become obvious to them. 

Dating a single parent: you come second 

The children come first: 64% of single parents say being a parent is their biggest strength. This is painful for a potential partner, especially one with no kids. They might feel like they have to put the single parent they’re dating first, but they will never come first. 

Children take a lot of effort and money to raise. They demand significant time and attention. Some children naturally resent every new person in their parent’s life. They perceive them as an imposter who can never take their father or mother’s place. 

1. Be a realistic optimist 

Everyone saying “Be positive” and “Smile more” should be fined. Here’s a thought: be a realistic optimist. These people pay attention to negative and relevant information, but they don’t focus on it. Research shows that people who have a ratio of three times as many positive emotional experiences to one negative emotional experience daily (3-to-1, or 300%) are more likely to be resilient. 

Realistic optimists quickly disengage from insolvable problems, like incompatibility. If your new date doesn’t get along with your children, stop seeing him or her. They do come first! 

2. Face your fears

Are you afraid of rejection as a single parent? Face your fears. You must expose yourself to your fear to overcome it. Go on as many dates as you can and want to. The exposure must last long enough for a new memory to form, which conveys that the fear is not relevant anymore. 

3. Get social support

The brain needs social support to function optimally. When your connection with friends and loved ones is affirmed, the hypothalamus releases oxytocin, which calms you down and reduces stress.

A 2024 study on 665 Chinese students shows a strong positive correlation between social support and resilience (p < 0.01). 

4. Stay in shape 

Resilient people believe that staying in shape helps them cope. Men who regularly do moderate to intensive physical activity are 23% less likely to get depression. An anxious person must tolerate symptoms like sweating and a rising heart rate during rigorous exercise. With time, the association between these symptoms and anxiety fades. 

The final thoughts on emotional resilience 

Studies show a positive association between quality of life and resilience. Resilience training reduces depression symptoms by 38% on average. We hope you found our suggestions on building emotional resilience reasonable and practical. 

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