“The Emotional Stages of Divorce: What to Expect During and After the Divorce Process” is a collaborative post.
Did you know that according to the American Psychological Association (APA), the chances of a first marriage ending in divorce is 41% in 2024? Psychology Today reported that the average duration of a first marriage that ends in divorce is eight years.
Divorce can be one of the most overwhelming and stressful situations that a person can go through in life. Similar to the five stages of grief, there are also stages of divorce, which is considered an end or death of a relationship.
Let’s discover the challenges and lessons in every emotional stage of divorce and learn how you can handle them with resilience toward a new beginning.
Shock and Denial
During the initial stages of divorce, you may find yourself struggling with shock and denial as you grasp the reality of your situation. As you process the fact that your marriage has come to an end, it is normal to feel a sense of disbelief and numbness.
Permit yourself to fully experience these emotions. It’s okay to feel confused and disconnected from what’s happening around you. Give yourself the time and space to acknowledge these feelings without judgment.
According to a divorce lawyer from https://www.chrisvlaw.com, being in denial can make the thought of hiring a lawyer unimaginable. An initial consultation with a divorce lawyer can help you understand the process, your rights, and possible outcomes. Following this process can often help the divorce feel more real and easier to handle.
Anger and Resentment
Dealing with the shock and denial phase may lead you to a stage characterised by intense feelings of anger and resentment. You might find yourself experiencing bursts of anger towards your ex-partner, the situation, or even yourself. Resentment may also surface, stemming from feelings of betrayal, hurt, or disappointment. It’s normal to feel this way during a divorce.
During this stage, you may find yourself easily irritated, frustrated, or even lashing out at others. It’s necessary to find healthy ways to channel your anger and resentment, such as talking to a therapist, engaging in physical activities, or practicing mindfulness techniques. It’s important to acknowledge and process these emotions instead of suppressing them.
Bargaining and Guilt
Feeling a sense of bargaining and guilt is a common emotional stage individuals may experience during the process of divorce. You might find yourself trying to negotiate with your partner to salvage the relationship, even if deep down you know it’s over. Bargaining can manifest as promises to change or attempts to make deals in a desperate bid to avoid the inevitable.
Guilt also plays a big role during this phase. You may blame yourself for the breakdown of the marriage or question your actions and decisions. It’s normal to feel remorse for the way things turned out and wonder if you could have done things differently. Remember, it takes two people to make a relationship work, and it’s not solely your responsibility.
Allow yourself to acknowledge these feelings but also understand that divorce is a complicated process with a range of emotions.
Depression and Sadness
As you move through the emotional stages of divorce, you may find yourself overwhelmed by feelings of depression and sadness. It’s entirely normal to experience these intense emotions. You might feel a profound sense of loss, grief over the end of your relationship, and uncertainty about the future.
You may find yourself crying unexpectedly, feeling a deep heaviness in your chest, or struggling to find joy in things that once brought you happiness.
It is perfectly fine to grieve the end of your marriage. Do not hesitate to give yourself the time and space to heal. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support. Keep in mind that it’s okay not to be okay and that healing takes time.
Acceptance and Healing
As you enter this phase, you’ll begin to find a sense of peace and renewal as you embrace acceptance and embark on your journey towards healing. Acceptance doesn’t mean erasing the pain or forgetting the past but rather acknowledging the reality of the situation and choosing to move forward. It’s a gradual process, and you may find yourself fluctuating between moments of calm and sorrow.
During this phase, focus on self-care and nurturing your emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and comfort. Allow yourself to grieve the loss while also recognising the opportunity for personal growth. Seek support from loved ones, a therapist, or support groups to aid in your healing journey.
Keep in mind that healing is non-linear. There may be setbacks, moments of doubt, or unexpected triggers along the way. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories. You’ll gradually find peace and emerge stronger from the healing process with time and self-compassion.
Final thoughts
Healing is a journey, and it’s important to practice self-care and self-compassion along the way. Overcoming the challenge that comes with divorce requires patience and kindness towards oneself. The path to recovery involves nurturing your well-being through self-care practises.
Stay strong and surround yourself with people who make you happy. Eventually, this difficult phase of your life will come to pass.
